Change happens all the time, and we seem to be taught that change is good. But is it necessarily true?
Change confronts every single one of us, every single day, but are we really happy with what becomes different? People come and go and influence our lives in many ways, big and small. Usually the people coming into our lives is a good change – we learn from them and hopefully gain a friend, for a minute, for a year, or for a lifetime. But then, when people leave us, naturally or otherwise, are we honestly better off for it?
People die, most are the big influences in our lives that we knew well, or some are the distant people who we knew vaguely, but we still feel the loss of that person. We may never have know them at all, they may have died in battle, or of a natural death, but when we hear of it or think of the people dying, we still feel for those who knew them.
To me, we are forced on this certain change and we have to learn to live with it. Adapt.
Over the years, we as individuals change, due to the changes of influences in our lives. Some people are blessed with happy and exciting people in their lives, non stop action and are generally joyful people, though this is very rare.
Some people become bitter and sad, due to their treatment by others around them, or the things that have previously changed in their lives, a death for example. These people learn to be strong and shield themselves from what happens around them, making them treat other people the same way as they have been treated – using insults or anger, even if they’re trying to be pleasant. Though they can’t help this, it’s just how they’ve learn to cope to the changes in their lives.
Then there are the people who have had to compromise and have used the negativity in their lives to make them a stronger and happier person. All the bad that has happened to them before has given them the encouragement to be stronger and make their lives happier, therefore enjoying life, either way.
Though, as I have come to understand, even for these people, their walls and defenses can come falling down when at a weakness, whether it is a horrible comment or being with a friend and having to offload.
When with someone you are comfortable with, you learn to trust them and are able to share the changes in their lives that have brought you down.
For me, I see myself as a very strong person, my weakness is being too nice. From comments from people, I have learnt to be stronger, but when I am with my best friends, and I mean the selected few, they can break me down in seconds – they know when something is wrong. I very rarely cry, especially with other people, but when it comes to those few friends, I can let the tears come crashing out and to be honest, it seems it needs to come out.
At the end of the day, through my ramblings, what I am trying to get at is this:
Though the changes in our lives have built us up, our personalities and emotions, the real us, the innocent one that is under all this mess from the past, is still there, and is crushed under the moments that have broken us before. At some point, the real you needs to show, whether you are alone or with a true friend, you will have to let go of all the bottled up thoughts, otherwise it will destroy you.
Sometimes you just have to sit back and think – “Am I really happy with who I am?”
